The universe has conspired for me to get back to writing my thesis. I’ve been really stalled lately. And I want to move onto the next career thing (whatever that is) and yet I know I can’t until I finish my damn thesis. But it’s so hard to spend all day at a job where I use my brain and sit in front of a computer and then go home and do the same thing.
So, here I am in Montecito, CA at PGI for another one of my weekend workshops on non-duality. And we spend the whole weekend studying Krishnamurti and putting into practice his ideas of being one’s natural self (which is simply part of the universal self) and collapsing time by staying only with the present moment and not indulging interpretations of the moment through the filter of the past nor preoccupations with thoughts of a future that does not yet exist and basically accepting “What Is” without judgment. And the whole weekend, I’m thinking “Boy, I’d like to spend some time in the library here,” but I don’t have the extra time.
And this morning (Sunday), I go to print out my boarding pass on-line to catch my 3:30 plane home and it says that I have no reservation for a flight today. My flight home is scheduled for Tuesday. Wha’ tha’? I look at the email receipt for the first time and it says the same thing. I don’t know how this happened. So, I call the airlines and the first flight I can get home is tomorrow and it would cost me $200 more to take it.
The thing is I’d never have intentionally made the reservation for Tuesday. And, if you know me, you’d know that I never make mistakes like this. So, rather than make an issue out of it, I take it as a sign. What if I’m supposed to stay here in this academically rich place with no distraction and nothing to do but write? It would cost me just as much in room and board to stay here two more days as it would to fly home a day late. I call my pet sitter and she’s free. I check with the school and my current room is one only a few available in the door, and they are happy to let me stay. I call my boyfriend and he says “Isn’t it telling that something so unusual would happen on this very weekend I’m studying what I’m studying?” He offers to go pick up my car from the park-n-ride so it doesn’t look abandoned and to retrieve me from the airport on Tuesday night. I leave a message for my boss at work. Everything falls into place just like that.
So, here I am, still in Montecito, CA. One of the most beautiful and comfortable places in the country. And I’ve spent the afternoon doing more research for my thesis, and I’m feeling grateful. I have to say I feel a bit off kilter because somebody just turned my reality 90 degreese. But it’s OK because underneath it, I feel loved and cared for by the Forces That Be.
Life is just weird sometimes.
I’m on an astrology kick lately. I’m not one to usually believe in these sorts of things. But, I have to admit that when, 2 years ago, a friend talked me into getting my natal chart read, I was shocked at how accurate the astrologer’s assessment of me and my life was. (It wasn’t 100% dead on, but was uncannily resonant.) She even said to me some things that, although I had a hard time seeing their relevance, were exactly what friends had been telling me about myself for years.
So, recently, I’ve been reading this book. It’s by a scholar who I highly respect. He, also, was skeptical of astrology. But since he is a cultural historian and recognized that many otherwise intelligent philosophers throughout history have trusted in astrology, he thought he’d look into it and see what the hub bub was all about. He too was taken by surprise at how unusually informative it was. But what’s more, he has taken astrological theory and applied it to world history and, in this book, he lays forth an impressive body of data showing correlations of trends and world events with their archetypal counterparts in the sky.
Take this simple example … Continue reading
I’m back from my first session in the non-degree program in non-duality in psych, religion, and science. It was wonderful to be back at Pacifica and the weekend gave me the final bit of glue for my thesis and a much-needed correction about relating to myself. I’m really glad to be doing the program. This weekend, I also picked up Rick Tarnas’ new book. The one I’ve been eagerly waiting for for a year or so. And it does not disappoint. I’m salivating over it. It basically gives objective evidence of the interconnectedness of the human psyche, cultural/historical evolution, and cosmic events. And it articulates, in a much more thorough and elegant way, a lot of the stuff I’ve put into my thesis.
And now my sabbatical is over and I’m back at work. First day back. I’m so not excited to be here. I’ve been throwing out papers and wall decorations that I suddenly have decided I don’t need or want anymore.
This morning, I had a dream in which I got in my car for the first time in a while and I pressed the gas and the thing went zooming in reverse so fast that blocks on my childhood street (where I lived from 8 to 17) went whizzing by. The brakes worked but the momentum was too powerful to stop it. I was scared but not terrified. Finally, the car stopped. I think I hit a curve and somehow guided it off the road so no one got hurt. Or maybe I just got lucky. But then, in the dream, there was one thing after another that was just off. More car problems. I think a non-essential piece of it just fell off. And then my boyfriend and I take it to the shop to get it fixed and somehow my car was already on the list to get fixed. Number 3, way ahead of other people who signed in before me. It was really odd and the garage guy thought so too and gave me a look as if I should know more about this than I do.
Anyway, now I’m at work for the first time in 5 weeks, and I went to the kitchen to wash my tea cup–the cup from which I’ve been drinking every work day for the last 7 years, it has Carnegie Hall etched in it and I bought it as a momento of the time I got to sing on stage there–and the thing slipped out of my soapy hand and cracked in half.
Do I smell synchronicity?
You ever have one of those runs of experiences that seem oddly connected? I mean, like all of the sudden a particular theme keeps popping up in random places in your life. So much more so than usual that you have to stop and ask yourself: WTF? I remember a stretch of days, one summer in Michigan, of strange animal behavior and occurrences. Unusually frequent wild animal sitings. Too many dead deer. My car colliding with a swarm of bees, flying north on I-69 South.
Lately, it’s the big ‘C’. Yup, cancer. Last year, a friend of mine. Then, two of my mom’s friends. And, all of the sudden, this summer, my dad’s brother, a co-worker, a business associate of my housemate, my friend’s brother-in-law, another friend’s wife, and, now, I hear an LJ friend’s mom has it too. There have been others lately too, but my memory can’t place all of the mentions of them now.
My mom once suggested that such strange occurrences were no more frequent than usual and I had just become more sensitized to noticing them, but I’m not so sure. There are those that would call me superstitious, but statistical probability as an explanation doesn’t have the emotional/intuitive resonance for me that such a situation demands. I tend to believe instead that, for whatever unexplained reason, there is a ripple of synchronicity on the surface of life, where something otherwise unseen builds to a point that it gets suddenly expressed on a mass scale.
Sometimes such series of things pass through my life and then fade off without bringing any sort of insight into the nature of the cosmos or even my temporary existence. I don’t presume to know what this latest one means, but it has got my notice. Something is in the air, and it doesn’t smell so nice.
God bless, friends. I pray that life always gives you and I at least what we need to grow and never any more than we can handle.
So, I forgot to tell you about the Texan. At the swanky hotel in Pune, I saw oodles of Westerners. Mostly business men, but some tourists. I never felt like making conversation. But by the end of last week, I was starting to feel a little lonely. (Not sad, but I just noticed that I was eager to hear a familiar accent and share a common sense of humor and conversational flow.)
Anyway, a few days before, I noticed this guy in the lobby. He could have been just like every other Westerner male face that went past my radar, except that when we made eye contact, his face totally changed. He lit up and damn if he didn’t have those twinkly eyes. Now, I know enough to know that when I find that in a person, it indicates that there is some reason that we should at least talk. But I was tired and he was on his way out and I let it go, feeling warm all the way up the elevator that I shared “a moment” with someone. By Thursday night, I was wishing for company and regretting that I didn’t stop and make conversation the guy, at least to see if there was any connection there. Alas, I was to eat one of my last meals in Pune alone, again. “Oh well, *shrug*,” she says. Then, as I was standing in the lobby, waiting for the tailor delivery, the twinkly-eyed Texan walked right up the stairs and headed my direction!
I mean, what timing. I just L-O-V-E love it when life just *works*. I mean, at that point, for all I cared, he could have been a complete dufus. The real treat was in the synchronicity. I was thinking of the stranger and the stranger appeared. It’s moments like that that I feel like The Universe waves at me and says with a wink, “Just wanted to say ‘hi’.” 🙂 I feel so looked after.
So, I flirted with the guy. He flirted back. Turns out we had both been in Pune for the same amount of time, both doing software training stuff, but because he worked the night shift for a call center, we had missed each other until the day before he was to leave. Damn. But we made a breakfast date. It was fun. I soaked up his southern accent and his twinkly eyes. He was kind and easy to talk to, but a bit ham-handed in the seduction department, and, as seems usual, in these situations I did a lot of listening and he did a lot of talking. Although he made no secret of his attraction to me, he didn’t leave me with his phone number or email, which probably simply means he’s married. (Yes, the girl can be taught! 🙂
No harm, no foul. Sometimes it’s fun just to flirt. I went to work with a smile on my face and my integrity intact and confirmation that there is order in the chaos.
So, I get home from work the other day and switch on the Electronic Companion and it turns out I’m just in time for a Nova special on world population growth. And where do they start off their investigation ….? India!
And then I stop over at my neighbor’s (‘s) house and it turns out she’s having a little party and what are they drinking ….? India Pale Ale!
I’m thinking this trip was just meant to be. T-minus 3 weeks and counting …
So, following on the post yesterday about my psychic reading and my semi-skeptical take on it …
Yesterday, I hopped in the car to drive down to the mall. The sky was gorgeous. I felt generous, patient, loving. My heart was open. I was thinking that I might have found a new spiritual companion in someone I recently met and that possibility made me very happy. Then comes this big, boxy white truck merging from the on ramp into my line. Usually, I detest following behind high profile vehicles–both for visibility and speed reasons. But I was feeling so spacious, I slowed down to let him in and decided to just enjoy the slower ride. He pulls in front of me and I look at his license plate: xyz-HAJ.
Make of that what you will.