Rock –> Me

It has been a while since I’ve complained about things related to my job. I was nearly in tears yesterday. Today, I am emotionally exhausted. My managers keep telling me that they hope to have this all fixed soon. They tell me to be patient, to have hope. But I’ve finally come to realize that they have no authority to fix anything. I think they have come to realize that they have no authority to fix things. Every query seems to get lost at the upper management level and our faith in our leaders has been tried.

The worst thing about this for me is that all I really wanted was to reduce my personal stress and do it without making a difficult situation anymore complicated for anyone. That’s why I tried to quit a few months back. I figured, better to just take care of my own needs and not get into ruffled or flying feathers. But they said, “please please don’t go” and the plot twisted and turned and now I’m in the very position I wanted to avoid: something has gotta give and, if I don’t exercise the one thing in my power (my employment), then, well, let’s just say that I should just walk out before I make a complete ass of myself ….

I need a hug.


19 thoughts on “Rock –> Me

    • Thanks. I needed that.

      I’ll let you know about dinner. Something else just happened (another email in which a potshot was taken at me publicly). And I need to go cry or calm down before my mind starts working again.

  1. Hug.

    You know, that Lack of Faith In Leadership business is something that’s been in the air…for at least 7 years. I’m so sorry that you have to experience it at such a personal level.

    • Thanks. At least in my personal encounter with it, I honestly believe that the faults lies in indecision and lack of will, rather than the more calculating, malicious crap that weighs on us nationally. Some co-workers tell me that I’m being naive and I’m just being played. But, as humiliating as that would be if that were the case, I’m not ready to go to that level of paranoia in the name of pride.

      So, it could be worse. 🙂

      BTW, did you watch the Bill Moyers interview with Jon Stewart? It was really helpful to hear him point out the delicate balance that our leaders constantly must maintain between keeping us just fearful enough to justify their means but not so outraged as to personally engage ourselves with what’s going on.

      Creepy but true.

  2. You are so special in so many ways….

    I just had to let you know that you are very special and oh so caring. I enjoyed our time together today and as always your wonderful writings. You are a breath of fresh air Alyson. Thank you…..

    Big hugs from me to you my friend….take care of yourself for all you need is within you.

    Love, Diana

  3. *hugs*

    Something that has often helped me, and at times became something of a mantra, is the following truth:

    “It is a noble thing to disappoint another in order to be true to yourself.”

    It seems like it might apply to your present struggle, and if so I hope that it helps. *More hugs*

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