I just called to say I love you.

OK, now understand: I’m not complaining that I didn’t get more Valentine’s wishes this year. But I expected that, if I would get anything, I’d get something a little, um, more tawdry than this company email:

Your Valentine from Global Business Intelligence and Corporate Finance: On Feb. 14, our Global Business Intelligence team and Corporate Finance jointly rolled out “Posted Revenue Analytical Mart”. PRAM provides a wide range of options for slicing and dicing revenue data, all delivered in an easy-to-use format through Business Objects. You’ll love it for transaction analysis, especially if you’re in the sales, marketing, product or operations organizations.

Makes me all soft and squishy inside just thinking about it.

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