More whining

Well, last night was rough again. At least I got 3 hrs and 45 minutes of sleep before I woke up rather than just 3 hrs. I laid there for a good hour and a half trying to find a comfortable position and then getting up and stretching and then trying to find a comfortable position again. I was determined to not do any drugs because I really don’t want to get addicted to them or take them so often that I get inured to them and require higher and higher dosages. Finally, I was pushed into doing what I probably should have been doing already: just resigning myself to the decent probability possibility that I wouldn’t fall back asleep and instead laying on my back, relaxing the back of my tongue, letting my eyes fall to the back of the sockets, and simply paying attention to the remaining pain and feeling it fully.

In short, it sucked. It was intense. It was crazy making. It made me want to jump out of my skin. And somewhere in there, I fell asleep.

But, today, I feel exhausted. I feel kinda weak and sore. Like I’ve been beat up in a back alley. I’m so tired of this.

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2 thoughts on “More whining

  1. Ironic that in other areas of your life, you are not being properly supported either.

    (The artist in me can’t help but jump on the metaphor.)

    I’m sorry it’s so sucky.

    You know, for the first time in a long time I’ve been experiencing serious back trouble. I wouldn’t know if it’s keeping me awake because of the insomnia, but it’s definitely time to go to the doctor.

  2. I may be totally on the wrong road, but I read a long time ago that, if you wake up in the middle of the night and you want to get back to sleep, you should imagine yourself revolving slowly as if on a vertical axis while standing. The article mentioned that the majority of people rotate clockwise, which seems to be related to handedness. I don’t know why I remember that.

    I’ve tried that and it works most of the time for me. Usually I’m able to continue the same dream I was having when I awoke.

    Do ask someone who actually knows what they’re talking about, though. It sounds like there’s a postural connection so maybe there’s another way to sleep? I once thought about getting a massage chair to sleep in. My mother sleeps in a recliner, mostly, but I have to sleep face-down because of my apnea.

    It might be time for you to think about a sleep study.

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