Well, last night was rough again. At least I got 3 hrs and 45 minutes of sleep before I woke up rather than just 3 hrs. I laid there for a good hour and a half trying to find a comfortable position and then getting up and stretching and then trying to find a comfortable position again. I was determined to not do any drugs because I really don’t want to get addicted to them or take them so often that I get inured to them and require higher and higher dosages. Finally, I was pushed into doing what I probably should have been doing already: just resigning myself to the decent probability possibility that I wouldn’t fall back asleep and instead laying on my back, relaxing the back of my tongue, letting my eyes fall to the back of the sockets, and simply paying attention to the remaining pain and feeling it fully.
In short, it sucked. It was intense. It was crazy making. It made me want to jump out of my skin. And somewhere in there, I fell asleep.
But, today, I feel exhausted. I feel kinda weak and sore. Like I’ve been beat up in a back alley. I’m so tired of this.