Protected: Relationship Update

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From Boulder to The Internets and Back

The Internets have come home to roost. This is just weird. I was using my web-based mail service that’s free because I agree to be bombarded by ads, and then I saw this ad along its side border:

What’s weird about it is that I KNOW THIS GUY. He is a friend of a friend. I met him when I put together a fundraiser for her when she got pregnant and decided to become a single mom. Then my ex-boyfriend did some website work for him once about 10 years ago, when he was just starting his business here in Boulder. You’d think that only schmucks have infomercials and would make seemingly hyperbolic statements about the accessibility of wealth to the potato-chip-eating couch denizen, but he seemed like an actual nice guy and not a slimey, high pressure type. That said, he has some bad internet reviews as a scammer. I don’t know him all that well, but still … he seemed like a good guy.

Has anybody seen his infomercial? What do you think?

Weekend Compendium

Weekend was mellow, as I was PMS’ing and that equals the need for lots of sleeping and for people to be nice to me. Hermes was sweet and thoughtful. It helped that we started our weekend with a Friday night couple’s therapy session in which we continued to explore him learning to obsess less about his life and me learning to let down my uber-woman persona and let myself be a little helpless sometimes.

Saturday afternoon, I pretended to do thesis work with the TV on in the background. Actually, I’ve unearthed some really interesting research on just how deeply our various romantic relationship styles are entrenched. I love learning and reading about this stuff and discovering that my interests keep circling around the same foci: personality and meaning-making. Also, as a side note, some recent research has piqued my interest. It suggests that those who act generously and do volunteer work tend to become happier people. Makes sense intuitively, but here it is backed up statistically. Needless to say, I’m learning A LOT about myself, which ultimately is what this degree is all about anyway. It’s funny realizing how original I used to think I was and coming to find out how predictably human I am, like everybody else. Saturday night, we were going to do the Denver First Friday Art Walk, but enjoyed sitting out on the balcony watching the rain so much that we happily made ourselves part of the immediate Environmental Art Happening for the rest of the evening.

Sunday, we went down to Denver and checked out the Bodyworlds exhibit at the natural history museum. If you haven’t seen it and you can handle body stuff without losing your lunch, go! This guy figured out a way to plasticize real bodies, freshly dead and posed into interesting positions before rigor mortis set in, and then slice them up so you can see how everything fits together. There were two walking “bodies” right next to each other–one all skeleton, another all musculature–but they were actually pieces from the same body, just representations of two different functional systems. Another display had just the nervous system stripped out and laid in a body shape, and the coolest were select body parts that were just the vascular system. Imagine a whole head, made out of the webbing of bright red blood vessels, floating in space. Pretty friggin cool.

Then, last night, I went to the slide show given by a friend of mine who is just back from her trip to Africa. Last year, she decided to just quit her job, pack up her life, and go to Ghana and volunteer in an orphanage. And that’s what she did. She’s back and her stories of the poverty amidst plentitude reminded me a lot of my trip to India. It really struck her how little people have and yet how happy they are, and how, when the culture is not run by appointments and the demand to achieve more and more and more and acquire more and more and more, the meaning of life really boils down to relationship and being open-hearted, giving generously, and accepting humbly. I really needed that reminder that life is essentially what we make it. I really needed to just be around my friend again; she’s incredible the way she is so starkly truthful and yet full of kind things to say about everyone. She’s quite a being.

And, finally, after days and days of much needed rain, the mountains here have shrugged off the clouds and we’re back to global warming as usual. Carry on.

Writing

Yo, everybody, I’m still here. [*She waves.*]

The extended stay in California was just what the Psyche Doctor ordered. I got some good momentum going in the literature review part of my thesis. On correlations between childhood attachment theory and adult romantic love, in particular. Interesting timing seeing as how Hermes and I have hit that stage in our relationship where we really start to see each other–warts and all–and the intimacy is feeling a bit, er, exposing. Thank God for therapy and the reminder that this is normal and that we’ll probably now be trying to find ways to mitigate that closeness a bit in order to each stand on our own two feet again. (In fact, just Monday, I was grousing to him that his questions about what I was thinking and feeling and what I meant by what I said and blah blah blah made me feel like he was “in my shorts”. Funny, heh.) We’ll have been together 7 months next weekend. And I’m still just amazed (pleasantly so) at how different this is from my past relationships. Growing up rocks.

The downside of the California trip was that I picked up a cold, typing on strange keyboards, and then spent the rest of the week stuffed up and feeling depleted. I’m just starting to feel healthy and normal again. I’m glad I didn’t make plans for this past weekend because I needed to get settled, rested, and centered. (We had toyed with the idea of doing a road trip to New Mexico.) I’m loving writing and remembering how much I love writing and reminding myself that I do have a lot I can contribute without being overly narcissistic and luridly confessional. So, I spent Saturday and Sunday working more on my thesis. And it’s gonna be one kick ass document ifIdosaysomyself.

Also, I’ve given myself a little kick in the rear and am sticking my toe in the water of non-academic, non-fiction. I submitted a little piece to the “Readers Write” section of The Sun Magazine. (If you don’t know this ad free magazine, you are missing out. I’m not usually a magazine reader. But the raw, personal honesty and depth in this one is a bright light in the storm of sensationalism and mind manipulation that you usually see on the magazine stand.) And, for a little more of a kick in the pants, I spent a couple hours on Friday at the photo lab cropping and futzing with the best digital photos I’ve taken and I’ll be submitting those for publication as well. I won’t know for months, if at all, if any of this stuff has been accepted, but at least I’m getting myself thinking in terms of being published.

Missing Money

Woohoo. My aunt came across this website and sent it to my parents who ran my name against its database and discovered that I have a little bit of unclaimed moola coming to me. Apparently, $84 from Travelers has been sitting out there waiting for me since 1995.

Go check and see if you have some missing money too!