The weather has been g-o-r-g-e-o-u-s here. Warm and sunny like spring. A beautiful, relaxing, hopeful weekend. Just what I needed after last week.
Friday night, Hermes and I went down to First Fridays in Denver to tour art galleries and nosh on the free food. Turns out someone we know had some stuff up in a new gallery at the Artist’s Corner on Navajo. There was also a really good show of Katrina-inspired images (lots of white-washed mud and photos of destruction, thought-provoking use of proportion) at The Edge. Saturday morning, we swung by his favorite coffee shop and then headed to my house.
Doo (my almost 16 year old American Cocker Spaniel) is still having problems with incontinence. So, I spent a good chunk of my morning bathing him and giving the downstairs a really thorough cleaning. (Thank goodness I ripped out the carpet and put in bamboo floors a couple years ago.) The doc put him on hormones a couple weeks ago (in addition to the bizillion other pills he takes for a variety of ailments) and they seem to have made no difference. I’m really getting tired of giving him a bath. And he hates it too. He gets the nervous shakes and doesn’t stop for, like, an hour. At least he got a short hair cut on Friday, so that makes his upkeep a little easier. But still. It’s hard to watch my baby get old and have so many troubles. Plus, him smelling like urine a lot of the time doesn’t exactly make me want to cuddle him. So, he isn’t getting as much reassuring physical contact. Kind of a nasty cycle. I left a message for the vet this morning suggesting that perhaps we should try adding some anti-anxietals into the mix seeing as how he doesn’t leak when he sleeps with me, only when he sleeps alone.
Saturday afternoon, we wandered downtown Boulder and did a little shopping and then went down to Arvada to buy a used leather jacket Hermes found on Craigslist. It looks sharp. Saturday night, the plan was to head to south Denver to hear a choral concert, but my afternoon nap sort of spilled over into evening and that plan went out the window. God bless Hermes for letting me doze because, when we got back to my house, Doo had peed on the couch. Oh man, was I angry about that, especially after cleaning all morning. Grrrrr. Anyway, I gave Doo what-for. I know it’s mostly not his fault. It’s just that his body parts don’t work so well anymore. But I also can tell that all these accidents are breaking his toilet training and he’s just sort of giving up and getting careless. I bitched him out and put him in the proverbial “dog house”. He now has to stay caged when I’m not at home, like when he was a puppy. My rug and couch have suffered enough. I was a little nervous about Hermes seeing me lose it like that. I don’t like being angry. I find it embarrassing. But he was kind and helpful with the clean up and he didn’t run away and asked only that, when he gets old, I never give him such an unflattering haircut and make him wear a bow on his collar. 😉
So, instead, we went out to see the late show of “Dave Chappelle’s Block Party”, which was great. Dave Chappelle decides to throw an incredible, free block party for a Brooklyn neighborhood, complete with legendary or soon-to-be-legendary R&B, Rap, and Hip Hop artists (e.g., Erykah Badu, Jill Scott, Kanye West, The Roots, The Fugees, etc.). And then to top it off, he invites a couple bus loads of people from the small town in Ohio where he lives. All expenses paid. And then he makes a documentary of it. The Ohio Central State University marching band gets to accompany Kanye West on “Jesus Walks”. It’s an uplifting slice of America (regular folks, down to Earth rural meets down to Earth urban) that you don’t usually get to see. As far as I am concerned, Dave Chappelle won big points as an all around good person. Highly recommended.
Sunday, Hermes and I took Doo on a long walk out to breakfast (2 miles which is huge for the little guy). (I had to carry Doo part of the way because his back leg started to drag due to some neurological stuff.) We sat in the sun and ate bagels and enjoyed watching people enjoy themselves. Then, we went across the street and joined the ritual Sunday gathering and conversation of some friends of his at a nearby restaurant. And then stopped by the home of a financial guru friend of his and got some generous, free advice on debt management strategies. If nothing else, listening to this guy talk and seeing him model a flexible and positive attitude about how to manage money made me much less afraid of engaging with my own finances.
Then I got an astrological reading. First one in a couple years. In addition to some interesting insight about Hermes and I, she basically pointed out that something has got to give in my life. That I’m an overachiever and I take that for granted, but I’m in a period of my life when I can’t be doing work and school and relationship and everything else. I just won’t have the energy for it, nor will I be able to tolerate doing things that don’t feel in line with my values and don’t teach me about the mysteries of life. She said, once again, that I have the kind of chart that reads like the destiny chart of a professor (a professor of things related to religion in particular) and a writer. She figures that, by the end of the fall, I’ll have made up my mind about what to do with my job. She also said that, looking at Hermes’ chart, we’re a good match–one that’s very stable, based on friendship, and has just enough charge to make it exciting and to bond us. It’s really interesting for me to see how people respond to our relationship. Maybe it’s just projection, but I’m used to people being either cautious or sort of crazy excited for me when I start a new relationship. But this has been different. Maybe the stability of it just comes through in how I talk about him and people pick up on that. I’ve simply noticed that a lot of people, upon hearing about us, seem to just feel like it’s a natural fit, like it’s such a good fit that there’s really nothing to react to other than to say, “Yeah, of course.” Anyway, the astrologer saw something similar in our charts. Not a lot of yin yang entanglement, just two loyal people who have a lot of 8th house energy (which is the mystical house, the search for meaning) who are a lot alike on the outside (we are both Leo Rising at the exact same degree) but complement each other (rather than mirror each other) on the inside and have the ability to empathize with each other quite exceptionally as we go through life.
Sunday night, we each had stuff to do on the computer. It’s nice that we have gotten to the point that we can share space and not entertain each other. It’s just easy being around him. I started making some headway on my thesis again. Everytime I look at what I’ve written, I humbly think to myself, “God, I’m frickin’ brilliant,” which is just the sort of narcissistic participation mystique I need to keep me moving on it. Let’s hope I’m on a roll.
In the meantime, I can tell I’m ready for a change. But it’s not clear what kind yet. My fantasies swing wildly from moving to Italy and living at a slow pace and enjoying the beauty of things to moving to San Francisco to put myself under the tutelage of Richard Tarnas at CIIS to buying a warehouse and starting a do-it-yourself art business that I’ve had in mind for years. Number two is the most likely. Or some sort of PhD somewhere. If I could figure how to do my kind of PhD from my country house in Italy where I run a do-it-yourself art business on the side, that’d be perfect. Of course, I don’t know how to finance any of those things yet. And there’s the wee problem of me not speaking Italian. So, don’t start throwing me any bon voyage parties yet.