So, Monday morning, when I woke up to go to work again, my right collar bone hurt like hell. I thought maybe I’d slept on it funny. Or maybe I torqued it carrying bags through the airport on Sunday. But it felt like I had been kicked right on the bone. Since then, the muscles all around it have tightened up and have been causing me chronic, medium-grade pain all week. I’ve sat in the steam room, I’ve stretched, and today I got a full massage. And right after each of those, it felt mucho better. And, then as soon as I went back to my desk to work, it got sore and stiff again. Every time.
To top it off, for the months that I’ve been working on this latest project at work, I have been running into an inordinate number of strange logistical problems in my technical environment. I have spent days chasing after ghosts in the machine, only to finally be beaten down to scrapping the whole set-up and rebuilding it from scratch. This means I have to make a fresh copy of the entire code line (to the tune of 30 minutes), rebuild it from scratch (which takes 2 1/2 hours), and then recreate my testing area (which should only take a few minutes but invariably there is something unexpected wrong with permissions or links or licenses or some such minutiae), and so it goes.
This is the kind of stuff that slowly but surely demoralizes and unmotivates me. I feel absolutely useless. And that this sort of stuff keeps happening makes me wonder if the universe is trying to tell me something.
Am I clinging to the rocks while the river is trying to move me on along?