Cosmos and Psyche

I’m on an astrology kick lately. I’m not one to usually believe in these sorts of things. But, I have to admit that when, 2 years ago, a friend talked me into getting my natal chart read, I was shocked at how accurate the astrologer’s assessment of me and my life was. (It wasn’t 100% dead on, but was uncannily resonant.) She even said to me some things that, although I had a hard time seeing their relevance, were exactly what friends had been telling me about myself for years.

So, recently, I’ve been reading this book. It’s by a scholar who I highly respect. He, also, was skeptical of astrology. But since he is a cultural historian and recognized that many otherwise intelligent philosophers throughout history have trusted in astrology, he thought he’d look into it and see what the hub bub was all about. He too was taken by surprise at how unusually informative it was. But what’s more, he has taken astrological theory and applied it to world history and, in this book, he lays forth an impressive body of data showing correlations of trends and world events with their archetypal counterparts in the sky.

Take this simple example … Continue reading

No rest for the weary

Lately, I’ve noticed my hips are starting to spread again. I’ve got a pair of jeans that are, er, a little too tight now. Bad sign. I don’t seem to lose weight as easily as I used to. Granted, my eating habits lately have been more about compulsion than about being hungry. But that is totally not necessary for me. Usually, a little awareness at the right moments is all it takes and I self-correct. So, I figure … time to be more conscientious.

Except now it’s Girl Scout Cookie season. What’s a sweet tooth to do?

Mmmph, thin mints. Good.

From the Pay It Forward department …

Well, ain’t that the most thoughtful thing.

A friend here at work just gave me a gift certificate for a massage. His wife was diagnosed with some seriously bad cancer last year and immediately started aggressive treatment on it with experimental drugs. A bunch of their friends organized around the family to help with meals and child care and chores and moral support. I started (and still manage) a Yahoo! group so that the family could send out messages to everyone on the support team, sharing news, requesting meals and other kinds of help on a daily basis, etc.

The last round of radiation (we hope) was yesterday and she is doing much, much better than initially imagined. They celebrated yesterday and have started giving out gift certificates for massages to the folks who were especially active in family support.

I never expected anything in return. But it’s a nice reminder that I do do a lot of things for others and that I get a lot out of that. This whole last year, I’ve been realizing that service and generosity are a foundational parts of my personal make-up. And makes me question even more, what in the hell am I doing sitting by myself in a cubicle all day, speaking to hardly anyone, doing something that has no meaning for me?

Welcome to another soul-sucking day

It’s another record breaking 70-something degree day here. Change and hope are in the air. Just gorgeous. I slept with the window open last night. Cool, fresh air. I woke up easily and without an alarm. And now … welcome to another soul-sucking day in the grind. The discontent builds.

Random bits

Had a lovely night out on Thursday with LA LJ babes. I’ll post a pic later. Thanks, , , , and , for accomodating my schedule and coming out to play late on a school night. , it was really wonderful to see you and renew our connection on the physical plane. And thanks for your warm hospitality and for staying up late, doing the girly sleepover late night chat thing. Big thanks to for being her naturally generous, helpful self and hauling her ass out of bed at the crack of dawn to drive me to Santa Monica before going back and getting herself ready for work.

I had “school” this weekend up at Pacifica. For those of you that don’t know, I’m doing a non-degree workshop series on exploring the concept and experience of non-duality in religion, psychology, and science. Saturday, we did dream analysis and the group worked a dream of mine for about 2 1/2 hours. Honestly, I don’t really think we got to the core of the dream. But nevertheless, I appreciated all of the attention and help, and I felt like I got some added juice on re-engaging with my sense of purpose and the importance of finding alignment with that in my work. As one woman pointed out, I seem to have a classic “Aquarius, Leo Rising” problem. Aquarius has the need to use her mind and be original and do something meaningful, but Leo has the need for recognition (which I feel really ambivalent about). More on that later as I’ve decided to go get an astrological reading on Sunday from an astrologer I really trust.

I have mixed feelings about my workshop. I like it and feel like I’m supposed to be there. But it’s frustrating to hang in a space which is supposedly about experiencing the non-dual but where so many people have a need to engage others on the level of their personalities. I know, it’s all one. And all that matters is the present moment. But I have a hard time being conscious of Consciousness itself when there’s so much personal talk about the past. I prefer to keep that ego stuff in the places where egos are really useful and fun, like in friendships.

Update on my back

So, I went to the new doc today. A “D.O.” Now, I don’t know much about osteopathy, but, living in Boulder as long as I have, this stuff seems to be way more scientifically based than a lot of stuff I’ve tried (and has worked), so I’m game.

She seemed pretty darn excited to be working a case of childhood hip dysplasia. And she read the article I brought in about it (something Mom cut out of the paper for me years ago) and I showed her my brace from when I was a wee one. And she seemed to understand the problem exactly, and, after checking me out, she said that I have compensated remarkably well. Sure, the brace has its downsides (e.g., my current problems) but without it I would have developed painful arthiritis and needed hip replacement surgery by the time I was 25. Now, most health care people that I’ve explained all this stuff too have said, “What? No hip sockets? Do you have them now? How do you walk?” They are sympathetic but obviously have never really thought about it before. Or, there’s my usual M.D. who, as much as I love him, is pretty laissez-faire about some things. And this being out of the field of his expertise, he has shown much interest in it. Frankly, this woman was the first person who, when I explained my history and my current complaints to her, said, “I think I can help you.”

Go ahead, be cynical and tell me about that new boat she’s saving up for. But those 6 words right there made my day. And then she went on to explain stuff to me about how the spine develops that pretty much explains why I have the troubles that I do. She said that when we are born, the vertebrae still aren’t developed. And since I was in a brace for the better part of the first two years of my life, my vertebrae and nervous system responses got the idea that leaning forward was normal. So, now, whenever I sit in a chair, the first thing I do is lean forward. If there’s nothing for me to put my arms on to hold myself up, I’ll prop up one knee so that I’m actually leaning back in order to keep me straight up and down. Chairs are torture devices to me, unless they are so plush that I can cross my legs in them, which effectively puts my knees higher than my lower back and so my world is right again.

The other thing she said is that every joint in the body has a natural subtle rotation that happens all of the time without us knowing it. Like, when we are totally relaxed, the joints still move ever so slightly, like breathing. Now, my hips are super flexible. I can easily put myself into and out of all sorts of yoga positions that other people moan and groan over. But that’s voluntary, intentional movement. When she was treating me and had me totally relaxed (to the point of about falling asleep), she checked my hips and she said they hardly move at all on their own. So, that needs some fixin’ too.

Anyway, this is the deal
* She can treat me in a way to repattern my nervous system and open up some more natural mobility in my hips. I’ve already had my first treatment. It was really gentle. I couldn’t tell you at all what she did, but I felt weird afterwards. Really open and a bit unusual. And I couldn’t stop yawning. She said it’ll probably take a few months, but the changes will be permanent. This’ll do the work from the inside out.
* She also is sending me to a pilates instructor/body worker for private sessions to develop a specialized program for me that will focus on strengthening only the areas I need without requiring a bunch of fancy equipment (hopefully). This’ll do the work from the outside in.
* She wants me to get a zero gravity chair situation at work so I’m not constantly using compensatory muscles to get me to sit up straight when my spine just isn’t aligned to work well that way. She’ll write me a prescription. Hopefully, the ergonomics people here at the office will comply without too much grumbling. (It’s an expensive chair and it basically means redesigning my office because I won’t be using a desk anymore.)

If this works, I’ll be ever so pleased. Keep your fingers crossed for me.