All Blue

I’m feeling sad and a bit lonely. Not sorry for myself. Not depressed. But introspective, emotionally painfully open, and a little rudderless. A friend is gone. My housemate has moved out. My friends-who-were-neighbors moved away. Another friendship that was fairly central in my life has origanically just entered a phase of increased distance. My thesis is still not written. And I’m feeling like I don’t belong at my job anymore.

In the last few days, I’ve spontaneously started playing and listening to the piano a lot: Chopin, Debussy, Nyman. Dissonant, melancholy stuff. Like my mood. It reminds me why I keep this 6’1″ grand in my house even though I hardly play it anymore. Piano was always how I comforted myself when I was lonely as a kid. I could put my fingers to the wood and out would come this sound that said, “Yes, I know exactly how you feel.”

Advertisements

9 thoughts on “All Blue

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s