Answers: 10 things about me (only 7 of which are true)

Hey, y’all did pretty good. Everybody got at least one. And now what you’ve all been biting your nails and sitting on the edge of your seats waiting for …the answers.

(1) I was born without hip sockets.

True. The cartilege completing the outside of the socket had not hardened when I was born. (To see the explanation for this sort of birth defect, read my answer to #9. 🙂 So, you could spin my little legs around and backwards like a Barbie doll’s. I wore a brace for the first two years of my life. I don’t have visual memories of it but plenty of body memories surface when I try to do new physical things. You wouldn’t know about all that to look at me now, except that I’m very flexible and under some circumstances can pop my legs in and out of my hips at will.

(2) I’ve run a foot race.

If you can count what I did as running, yeah. I came in dead last in a 5K fundraiser race. I’ve never been much of an athlete. I had bad shoes. Whenever I tried to run and breathe deeply, I got piercing aches in my shoulder where a once broken collar bone didn’t heal correctly. I didn’t know the first thing about what I was doing. I “trained” for a couple months beforehand. I was just glad to make it to the finish line, although I had to yell at them to stop taking it down as I was approaching. 🙂

(3) My favorite sandwich when I was little was baloney and peanutbutter.

That’s just sick and wrong. Baloney + mayonaise = yum. Peanutbutter + banana = yum. Baloney + mayonaise = IIiiieeeeewwww.

(4) I’ve eaten the pituitary gland of a cow and the testicles of sheep.

When I was in high school, I worked in a gourmet food deli. The pituitary gland of a cow mixed together with some sauce is apparently called “sweetbread”. Can you imagine? But I like sauce. Lots of sauce. So, yes on that one. As for the sheep’s testicles, also known as Rocky Mountain Oysters, I did it on a dare. Fortunately, nothing redeems suspect food items like deep frying it first.

(5) I used to teach American Sign Language.

Growing up, I had a thing for sign language. I read books on it, taught myself, made my own flashcards to practice with, took some classes, and could hold rudimentary conversations. When I got to be a summer camp counselor, I offered to teach the kids camp songs in sign language, which the little girls just dug. C’mon, everybody, let’s all sign a rousing version of kumbaya in silence!

(6) I sang on stage at Carnegie Hall.

True. For 5 years, I sang with a women’s a capella group called Sound Circle. For a while, we were the darlings of the GLB choral scene. The NYC Gay Men’s chorus invited us to be the guest stars for one of their concerts and that concert was held in, of all places, Carnegie Hall.

(7) I have never asked my parents for money.

Bwahahahaha. Not even close. Hoo boy, I crack myself up.

(8) I have never worked a waitressing job.

Yeah, how did I sneak out of that one? I did do a high school stint in retail at a men’s clothing store.

(9) I have royalty in my ancestry on my mother’s side.

As we joke in our family, we come from a long line of cousins. 😉 But they are of the simple hillbilly sort (coal miners, farmers, moonshiners, and one sheriff).

(10) I am related to Elvis Presley on my father’s side.

My great grandfather was his grandfather’s cousin. Does that make us 3rd cousin’s twice removed or 2nd cousins thrice removed? But my great grandfather would have you know that we didn’t associate with that Mississippi white trash part of the family. 🙂

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8 thoughts on “Answers: 10 things about me (only 7 of which are true)

  1. 1) I have a cousin who was a preemie born without hip sockets. Shriners Hospital carved him a set and he was in a lower body cast until he was 3.

    9) Everybody comes from a long line of cousins. You’re a geek, do the math. 🙂

    • 1) I have a cousin who was a preemie born without hip sockets. Shriners Hospital carved him a set and he was in a lower body cast until he was 3.

      Oh, man. That makes me itchy just thinking about it.

      9) Everybody comes from a long line of cousins. You’re a geek, do the math. 🙂

      Well, when you put it that way, it seriously opens up my dating possibilities. 🙂

  2. Wow….I was on a roll there for a while. I think I only missed one! You’ve done some interesting things, for sure. I’ll admit that I’m not quite daring enough to try pituitary glands and testicles. Brava!

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