As merkabamystica pointed out to me, not everyone in the dating pool is out looking to fall in love. Although that possibility makes decent intellectual sense to me, I have no personal experience of this to draw on in order to know how to apply it in my own life. (During my life time, I’ve swung wildly from nymph to hopeless romantic, without much time spent in the in-between areas.) I’m totally clueless with regard to what to expect from the more casual “getting to know you” or “spending time with someone new because its stimulating” dating style.
So, friends, if you don’t hate to educate, I have oodles of questions for any of you interested in helping me with my remedial training …
How do you, in the beginning, negotiate expectations of why the two of you are going out? I mean, what if one person is thinking “I hope they are the one” and the other person is thinking “Hey, it’s nice to get out and not watch re-runs again tonight.”
Hopefully, I don’t sound insulting. I’m just ignorant. How would you describe the appeal of just dating without the intent of finding a long-term mate? Is it the break in routine, the variety of experience? How does having a “just dating” relationship go? I’m imagining that I’d go out once, maybe enjoy myself enough to do it again with that person, and then start to feel more interested in staying in and playing the piano, reading a book, going out with friends, seeing someone else etc. So, I’d imagine that we’d reach our mutual max level pretty quickly. And then what if they wanted more and I didn’t? Then I’m back to the “thanks but no thanks” dilemma.